If you have ever been low, perhaps very, very low, you will have been told that death is not the answer. Death, they will have told you, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You may even have been told that dying before your appointed hour is selfish.
But first we’ll talk about life. The truth is that life is a very little thing. Life is a lifeforms’ thing. Some of us long for a maternal Earth, some for a vengeful God, but the world we live in is not a lifeform. We are alive, but we are not of life. Our substrate is impartial and indifferent. The matters of lifeforms don’t distort the field that they lie in. Life does not matter to the universe.
Now for death. You can take life to be heart death, brainstem death, or some nebulous soul death, however you please. You may even have a personal death pinned to some event in your life lying far away from the point of the end of gross life. It does not matter. Like life, death is a very little thing. Death is a tiny drop in a bucket the size of the ocean. The universe looks down on death with unseeing eyes. To the universe, life and death, the all-important existential currency of lifeforms, are tiny.
Life and death are equals in the grand scheme of things, equal pale blue dots. The life and death on a single planet must be a homeopathic preparation of change. The life and death of a single person like you is a motion blur artefact. To live with peace, we must realize that life and death stand shoulder to shoulder. If you are not afraid of death, then there is no reason to be afraid of life. The arc of life and death is ignored by the universe, and it is tempting always to take up its cause and carry its rebellious banner, reading, “I am all-important”. But better to make peace with the insignificance of the cycle, and, through that, cease to fear it. Do not fear death, and, moreover, do not fear life.
As Herbert Huncke once said: " All happening to me is unnecessary. It is not important to any cause beyond my own and I am unimportant. Of course it is happening and it is what it is as things are."
ReplyDeleteKeep writing!